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Things Not To Do Tips
Do Not Treat Your Child as a Peer
Tip from Shellee Darnell in article entitled Single Parents Raise Good Kids Too! Do not confide in your child as though he/she is your peer, regardless of how mature the child appears to be. This is a common mistake made unintentionally by many single parents who turn to their child for emotional support and don't realize they are hurting the child until after the fact. Allow children to be children, and find other adults for companionship and support.
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Remember You are the Grown-up
Be friends with your children, but always make sure you maintain the parental role as well. There are some things that you should not talk about with your children. Remember they are children growing up in this world. Don't place the burden of the world on their shoulders by detailing everything that is wrong in your life such as having a bad day at work, or sharing details of your finances. They shouldn't be concerned with whether or not their parent is going to lose their job or that the bill collectors are knocking down the door. Let them be kids and enjoy life. You be the adult and handle it as an adult. Anybody got any Ben and Jerry's?!!!
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Your Child is Not Your Caregiver!
Take care of yourself, donīt expect your children to take care of you. Linda Foust states in "The Single Parentīs Almanac, If you donīt take care of yourself, your child might bury his own needs and attend to yours. Distraught parents sometimes fail to see a kidīs problems or connect them to the family breakup. Your child loves you and needs you to be stable and functioning. His survival literally depends on it. Demonstrate that despite the upset, you remain competent and capable of caring for him and yourself. Avoid using your child as a confidant, but make clear your willingness to listen to him. Otherwise, heīll get the idea youīre too delicate for difficult subjects and will protect you with his silence."
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The child support check
Do not send your child support check with your child. Do not ask that your ex-spouse give you your child support check when they pick up or drop off the child(ren). Visitation should not be stressful and having your child or children serve as the method of getting or giving the child support check makes the child anxious and involves them in matters that are not theirs.