You Don´t Have to Be Lonely

Many single parents' worst fear is that of being lonely. Forget it, that's only a myth. Many single parents find they were lonely far more often while in a bad relationship than they are now. Loneliness happens to everyone, even those married. It is a part of life. Deal with it. Focus on the good things about your life, not the negatives. Don't date someone who treats you badly, or spend time with people who are bad influences on your out of your fear of being lonely. Spend your time and energy on people who encourage and uplift you, not pull you down. And never, ever rush into marrying someone as a “cure” for being alone. You will be even more lonely than you are now, and more miserable. Make good friends and relationships—keep looking until you find them.

Depression Affects Your Health

Our body reacts to stress and releases antibodies to combat the negative destroyers of our body. When depression sets in, your antibodies are busy fighting the negative emotions, and are unable to engage in battle against the viruses and diseases they normally fight. So the sooner you can get over that depressed state, the sooner your body will be able to return to good health. And you will feel better emotionally as well as physically.

Rule #1 for Direct Verbal Expression of Anger

Information for this tip came from the New York-Presbyterian Hospital: Rules #1 states "Say what happened. Be very specific. Say exactly what happened, when, where and how often. Don´t describe your emotional reaction to it yet. Don´t use abstract or vague terms. Don´t generalize. Don´t guess about the other person´s intentions or motives."

Single Parenting Affects You Emotionally

Single parenting has its ups and downs, but overall, it can be a valuable growing experience. It can make you a much stronger person emotionally than you were before. You can learn how to overcome being codependent upon others for your emotional stability. You learn how to overcome and deal with issues that you may have never dealt with before. You also learn to be more sensitive to others going through tough times and can develop a heart to reach out and help others and be a source of encouragement and support for them. Learn the value of having a network of friends for emotional support. And, learn also your number one support comes from your relationship with God, who will be your Rock. if you will let Him. When all else falls around you, He will always be there to pick you up, and many times shelter you from the pain.

Humor Is Essential

Humor is part of "being" and that healing is as much based on "being" as it is on medications and interventions.

Avoid Depressive Thinking

See difficulties as temporary setbacks and not the result of something wrong with you. Do not automatically assume the worst or that something is wrong with you. If you lose your job, channel your thinking into getting another job that is as good or better than the one you had. If a friend does not call you back when you expect, consider the fact that they may be extremely busy and have not had a chance to check their answering machine or return calls. Giving others the benefit of the doubt if far better than beating yourself up with feelings of rejection.

Rule #3 for Direct Verbal Expression of Anger

Information for this tip came from the New York-Presbyterian Hospital: Rule #3 states "Say exactly what you want the other person to do. Request a small change. Request only one or two changes at one time. Say exactly what behaviors you want to see stopped and those you want to see continued. Ask for something the person can actually do. Don´t merely imply that you´d like a change. Don´t ask for too big a change. Don´t ask for too many changes. Don´t ignore the other person´s needs. Don´t assume that only the other person has to change."

Stick to the Issue

When you are angry at your child, do not list every offense he has committed in the past. Stick to the current issue.

Optimism

Optimism is not only positive thinking. Effective optimism is based not only on feeling good, but on doing well. Parents can teach optimism to their children, as a lifelong inoculation against depression and suicide.

(Innoculating Against Depression by Richard Louv Senior Editor)

Laughter, A Natural Pain Killer

Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body´s natural painkillers, and produces a general sense of well-being. Medicos believe that 100 to 200 laughs a day are the equivalent of about ten minutes of rowing or jogging. You can liken it to having your foot on your own body´s accelerator. It is said to be "part of the arsenal helping to fight disease." And luckily you can not build up "immunity" to these natural reactions.

Making Anger Work for You

The New York - Presbyterian Hospital offers the following system for managing anger.
"1. Before you speak or do anything else, think through all the steps below.
2. Recognize and admit the anger to yourself.
3. Identify the target and the cause of the anger. a) Consider all the options for responding and their possible results. b) Directly and verbally express the anger. c) Use humor. d) Let it pass. e) Focus on something else. f) Get involved in a physical activity. g) Find a different way to look at the situation. h) Rest, use relaxation techniques, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
4. Choose the best option.
5. Do it."

Use "I" Statements Rather than "You"

Do not use "you" statements, (e.g., "You will never learn.") Think in terms of "I" (e.g., "I do not like picking your toys up every day") These are less hurtful and you are showing your child that you are taking responsibility for your own emotions.

Step Back and Cool Off

When you feel like you are going to "blow your top" take a "parent time-out" until you calm down. Leave the room, count to ten, go to your bedroom, and closing the door, etc. Whatever it takes to restore your cool so you can deal with the situation calmly and rationally. Exploding solves nothing and may frighten your children.

Unnecessary Anger

Do not get angry at the waitress because you had to wait too long for your food, or at the sales clerk because the store is out of the item you wanted. It is the situation, not the individual, causing the problem. It could be there is a new cook being trained who missed seeing your order, or the restaurant is short-handed because someone did not show up for work. Or it could be that the item you wanted is a popular item and the store sold out more quickly than anticipated. Try to look at the bigger picture, not just the one you are seeing.

Open Your Eyes to Humor

Open your eyes to the humor around you. Try to add at least one humorous event into your life everyday. It may be in the form of watching a sitcom on TV, a movie, cartoons, or reading jokes and funny stories. There are several posted at Singleparent-tips that should bring a smile to your face.

Definition of Humor

Humor can be defined in many ways. For example, it can be what ever makes us laugh. Also, it can be the experience of something new and unexpected. It can be that which is unique. It can be the sudden surprise in our world. It has many types of definitions.

Clinical Depresssion Can Be Hereditary

Family history is important. Studies indicate that depression is three times more common in children whose biological parents suffer from depression, even if the children have been adopted into a family whose members do not have the illness. Other research indicates that if one identical twin develops depression, the other twin has a 70 percent chance of also suffering from it. These studies suggest that some people inherit a susceptibility to the illness.

Laughter Improves the Body

Laughter is also thought to improve circulation, stimulate the nervous system, heighten the immune system, and make the heart stronger.

Humor Can Help Fight Infections

Clinical research has indicated that humor may have a direct effect on the body´s ability to fight infections. According to the American Association for Therapeutic Humor, a St. Louis-based nonprofit group, laughter boosts the body´s production of killer white blood cells that attack infectious agents in the body. "We now have proof that humor and laughter improve the chemicals in your body, in both the short and long terms," according to Karyn Buxman, a member of the organization and former nurse who writes and speaks on the subject of therapeutic humor.