Unwrapping the Gift of You

The best gift you can give your kids is you. Spend time playing games with them, baking cookies together, decorating the tree, caroling in the neighborhood, or if you are lucky enough to have a white Christmas, building a snowman with them or sledding. Spend time getting to know your kids. It will make a difference in all of your lives.

Plan Ahead for Holidays

Holidays can be very lonely times for single parents. Start making plans in advance to fill the empty void in your life left by a deserted partner. Make holidays enjoyable for you and the kids. Plan a party of your own or invite another single parent over to share the holidays with your family. Don't look backwards, but forwards. Make some new memories and turn a blind eye, if necessary, to all the traditional families around you. You and your children are complete people too and are entitled to just as much enjoyment, so don't short change yourself or your kids. Reach out to others, don´t wait for them to reach out to you.

Christmas Clearance Sales

Always be bargain minded. Immediately after Christmas, hit the stores early and take advantage of after-Christmas clearance sales. Stock up on wrapping paper, bows, Christmas cards, gift tags and bags, decorations, etc. for next year. It is also a great time to pick up seasonal items that will make great Christmas gifts for next year such as Christmas hand towels, soaps, baskets, figurines, trinket boxes, angels, mugs, books, etc. Just store in a box and pack away with your other Christmas accessories so you will know where to find it next year. Next year, Santa will be ready!

Whose Gift is This?

An especially funny game to play when opening gifts is to wrap a gift with a name tag on it, place it inside another box and wrap it again placing the name tag of another person on it, and then wrap it yet again with another person's name. This makes a great round robin gift exchange and keeps everyone guessing who is going to end up with the gift. The first time you do this, make sure you don't tell anyone the plan and it will catch everyone off guard and should keep them in stitches. Don't do every gift this way as the fun will wear thin quick. I usually do one for each family member or just one per Christmas.

You Are Never too Old to Hang Your Stocking

Make Christmas fun. If you aren't able to spend the holidays with your family, make it a fun time for you and your children. Christmas is all about giving and sharing your lives, not about how much money you spend. Fill a stocking for everyone in the family, regardless of their age. Buy sample sizes of toiletries and wrap each individually in Christmas paper. Other gift ideas include breath mints, disposable razors, pencils or pens for school, notepads, lifesavers and gum packs. And don't forget to add a special Christmas ornament for the tree next year. Let each take a turn in unwrapping the gifts in their stocking and make a game out of it. Put a rhyme or riddle on each gift. Our favorite is to do a twist on the Twelve Days of Christmas song. Number each package with the rhyme so it will be done in order.

Dealing with Holidays

Dealing with holidays is a challenge for many single parents as many holidays are geared to couples and two-parent family units. The most difficult holiday for most single parents tends to be Christmas. Valentine's Day is another downer. Be forewarned of the emotional challenges you may face during these times and prepare in advance for them. Do not let them catch you unprepared. Suicides are at their highest level during the holidays, so prepare ahead of time how you care going to handle them so you won't be the next victim. Make plans to keep yourself occupied and busy during these times. Start planning months in advance if you need to, and make sure you have a Plan B or C in case Plan A falls through. Be flexible in adjusting your plans so you don't get caught off guard and left sitting alone. The other holidays are usually not as stressful and as family or couple oriented as these two holidays and are therefore easier to ignore and survive.

Share Christmas Goodies

Try making some homemade fudge or candy and put in small gift containers picked up on sale last year after Christmas, or make your own containers. Take a container with a plastic snap-on lid such as a Pringles can, small dry powder mix can, etc., wipe it out with a clean damp paper towel, and then cover the outside with Christmas wrapping paper, leaving several inches at the top and bottom to tuck inside and tape down at the bottom. Fill with goodies, replace plastic lid, and put a bow on top. These containers are inexpensive and can be thrown away without guilt when empty.

Party Games – Who Am I?

Before the party, cut out pictures of famous people your children and their friends should know. Pin a picture of a famous person on the back of each child so that everyone but that child can see it. Then each child has to ask yes or no questions of the others to figure out who is pinned to his back.

Christmas in a Jar

Rather than bake goodies for gifts, try preparing homemade mixes in jars, complete with directions for the recipient to prepare at their convenience. Use quart size jars and layer dry ingredients according to the jar recipe. Cut a square piece of Christmas fabric and insert between the ring and the lid on the jar, add a gold ribbon bell and attach a small tag giving preparation and baking directions. You will be fondly remembered when they enjoy the goodies later.

Party Games - Group Storytelling

Here is a fun game that can be played at a birthday party, regardless of the child's age. Someone starts telling a story and after a couple of sentences, points to another person in the group to continue telling the story. It is a lot of fun as each child adds their own twist to the story. The faster the story goes, the crazier and more fun it gets.

Plan a Special Christmas Meal

Even if your children are visiting their other parent during the holidays, be sure you plan a special holiday time with them also. It doesn't matter what day you celebrate, what matters is that you do it. Not all children get to celebrate Christmas twice! Plan to have at least one special Christmas meal together with just you and the kids (or perhaps a close family friend or relative).

Christmas Care Packages

A favorite gift for teenagers or college students studying for final exams is to fill Christmas mugs with snacks for those late night study sessions. Purchase mugs at the clearance sales after Christmas, or find some inexpensive mugs at your local dollar store. Fill with individual packages of hot chocolate mixes, snack crackers, gum, breath mints, hard candy, M & Ms, etc. Enclose mug in plastic gift bag, add ribbon, and you are done.

Make New Traditions

A fun Christmas activity is to hide a Christmas gift for each member of the family and place clues throughout the house. This requires some thought and careful planning. The clues need to be strategically placed at the last possible moment so as not to be found ahead of time. The first clue can be hidden in the bottom of their Christmas stocking. Good hiding places for other clues could be under a Kleenex box, candle, angel, in a book on a shelf, on top of the refrigerator, on the Christmas tree, etc. Use a Christmas song for your theme, adapting it as needed, and send each person on a treasure hunt throughout the house searching for clues. If there is an upstairs, send them up and down the stairs a few times and even to the garage. Everyone gets in on the action as they follow behind the treasure hunter as he goes from room to room searching for clues. A fun activity for all to enjoy!

Special Ornaments

Every year purchase a special ornament for each child in the family. (Be sure to keep a written record of who got what to avoid future arguments.) Let each child have the privilege of placing his/her own special ornaments on the tree. Later in life when your child marries and leaves home, they will have a collection of ornaments to take with them as a reminder of all the wonderful holidays your family spent together. Make Christmas special and memorable!

Keeping the Right Perspective

To make Christmas special and more enjoyable, always plan to attend church services somewhere. If your church does not offer Christmas Eve or Christmas Day services, find a church that does and attend with your family. Denominational preference doesn´t matter, it´s better to attend church somewhere than leave Christ out of it altogether. I am not Catholic but attended Christmas Eve mass several years with family and friends before my church began offering a candelight Christmas Eve service. Take time out from the hustle and bustle and remember what Christmas is all about and why we give gifts, because we were given the greatest gift of all--Jesus Christ who died that we might have life. Remember Jesus is the reason for the season.

Holiday Baking

Cookies freeze well, so bake those holiday cookies early and freeze until needed. Plan a baking day and do all your holiday baking in one day while you have all the ingredients and cooking utensils out. While one batch is baking, you can prepare the next batch. The kids and I like to do this the day after Thanksgiving. While the rest of the world is fighting traffic and crowds at the mall, we are at home baking cookies for gifts. Let your kids help choose the cookies to bake. Prepare a shopping list of needed ingredients, and have everything ready for the big day. It's great fun and you only mess up your kitchen once but the results will be rewarding. You and the kids will have spent a fun day together and you will have a big head start on Christmas gifts with very little expense. And more importantly you will be making memories your children will treasure when they think back to their childhood and making holiday goodies.

It Is a Family Affair

Involve your kids in your holiday preparations. Let them help with decorating the tree after it is assembled and lights strategically placed. Forget the fancy decorator trees¡Xthat is for people who do not have children. Your tree should be a reflection of you and your family, with an assortment of decorations representing your lives together down through the years. It does not have to win the Best Decorated Tree award, but it should win the Best Loved Family award.

Get in the Spirit Early

Get in the holiday spirit early and keep it going. Don't wait until the last minute to decorate the tree and buy gifts, frantically trying to get everything done at the last minute. When you and the kids are gone from home all day being at work or school, it doesn't leave much time to enjoy the holidays. And the closer it gets to Christmas, the busier it gets. Years ago we started the tradition of decorating for the holidays on Thanksgiving weekend when we were all home and everyone could help. That way we could enjoy it for several weeks after all the trouble we went through getting it together. On free evenings, spend time together wrapping Christmas gifts for grandparents, friends, school, etc. Children love to help with the gifts even if it is only choosing the holiday paper for each gift. Don't do the holidays FOR them, do it WITH them and take time to enjoy it, making warm memories together.