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If you and your ex are unable to carry on a civil conversation, you may need to find other ways to communicate information such as through letters or notes. If it is a very hostile situation that could end up in court, be sure to make copies of all your written communications to have as evidence should you need it. Some people have to communicate solely through lawyers, which is sad because the two adults are acting worse than a couple of two-year olds fighting over the same toy, except it is a child. If the other spouse insists upon acting like a child, then you need to be the grown-up and, by example, teach the other parent how to communicate. Set a good example for your children and exhibit some maturity in handling your side of the situation. Show them the right way to handle negative situations, not the wrong way, which is stooping to the other parent's level. Respect yourself even if your ex doesn't show you any.
I'd love to be able to communicate with my son's father, but since we didn't have a long term relationship, meaning we didn't marry, we had an affair and he was out of the boys life for over seven out of his ten years, so communication is mostly through his lawyer, who isn't the most amicable of people. I try not to take his calls because he is passive-aggresive and I'm not going to feed into his behavior. So, I communicate through emails, but it is very difficult to get one's point across when the emails are sent back with grammar and spelling corrections. There isn't any solution to this problem, you have make copies of you emails, and pray that he doesn't take you back to court, because his lawyer thinks you're the one to blame... Also, I try not to talk in front of the boy, because the other parent will grill the child and use the is "so-called" information against you in court...
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|