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Never use your child as a message bearer. Your child will inevitably end up in the middle of the war zone, which is not fair. Children should not be exposed to their parents' immaturity. Try to find an appropriate method of communication that does not put your children in the middle. Leave a message on an answering machine or write a letter and mail it if necessary, but don't rely upon your children to communicate your messages. The message can be forgotten, misunderstood by the child and miscommunicated to the other adult, etc. If it is important, put it in writing. Just don't rely upon your children to deliver it or it may get lost or forgotten.