June 5, 2009, Newsletter Issue #336: What are some rules of advice I should follow regarding my visitation rights?

Tip of the Week

It is never a good idea on the part of the grandparents to be too aggressive or forceful in their quest for visitation. This is especially helpful when a divorced custodial parent has remarried. It is important that time be allowed for the new marriage to work out, mostly for the sake of the child(ren), who are apt to be divided in terms of loyalty to the divorced (or even deceased) parent.

It is also not recommended that legal proceedings begin immediately. All avenues of negotiation should be exhausted first. Many professionals suggest the use of a third-party, professional mediator. Often, the custodial parent will resist the visitation out of fear that the non-custodial grandparents will fill the grandchild(ren) with negative thoughts. The non-custodial grandparents and the custodial parent should first attempt to work out some sort of visitation schedule among themselves. These types of agreements usually work out best because none of the involved parties will tend to feel anything was forced upon them.
Should there be no alternative to court action, if and when the grandparents meet with an attorney they should be prepared to produce documented evidence and a list of witnesses and facts to substantiate the all important "best interests of the child" claims. The most important piece of evidence in any state would be to demonstrate that a consistent and caring relationship was well established prior to the divorce.

In a situation where there is a measure of animosity towards the divorcing parents and even grandparents, it is important that the child(ren) be sheltered from any and all conflict as much as possible. It is also very important to keep in mind that, although grandparent visitation is generally acknowledged to be healthy, it is not meant to override the basic right of parental autonomy.

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