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If the children tell you that they do not want to visit or do not want to return to their custodial parent, do not jump to any conclusions. Ask the children why, do not attempt to guess. Avoid giving the children a reason, such as is it because you are ignored. Sometimes it is just that they are tired of moving between parents, or they are being punished by the other parent for something they did. Jumping to conclusions will teach your children to be manipulative.
my daughter is almost 11 years old.. recently, she has absolutely not wanted to go to her dads' she has told me he doesn't pay any attention to her when she is there and that she is not allowed to talk to anyone on the phone. one weekend, he would not let her watch tv and he has told her things like she is a liar ( and she is not) and that she is a smartass, she cannot talk to anyone, ESPECIALLY me. he has just recently let her talk to her friends but that is only if she knows the number that is calling- he screens her calls to make sure she is not sneaking to talk to me while she is with him. this is very detrimental to my daughter as she is a preteen and there are changes going on with her body that she does not fully understand and does not want to talk about with him. but will he let her call and talk to me? no. until about 2 months ago, we had never gone to bed without calling and saying "good night, sweet dreams, and I love you." he won't even let her do that anymore. if something were to happen to me on my way to work or home or just being out, my daughter would never know about it while she was with her dad. she would not know until he brought her back to the police station where we exchange visition and I was not there. he is making her despise him.