Closing Doors

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When I ended a very long on again off again relationship I knew at that time what was wrong with the relationship and went to a therapist to hash through what I wanted from life and clarified that I would never be satisfied with this man. I had many friends a job I liked and my own children and I focused on them and fun. In about 3 years I was feeling I'd like a special relationship in my life and a life coach asked if I would like to have a beloved ceremony. In a nutshell my job was to prepare my home to welcome the right one.Discard clutter paint garden esentially invite only positive friends to my ceremony. Those who supported my ideals . No winers or gossips. The ceremony consisted of shot vingnets from each guest about their relationship with me. There was a prayer releasing all these words to the Universe ,then we had a fabulous dinner. I was instructed to forget about it and go about my life and have fun. I felt a lightness and positive feeling . One year and one month later I met my beloved at my best friends 60th b-day party..I believe that by making a deliborate effort to understand past relationshipsand to learn about mysself. I freed myself to meet the Love of my Life.

I have been in love with the same guy for almost 20 years. I had given my all, sure we all argue and we had our share. Now I am a single mother and each day the quilt hits me for that split second that I should have stsyed and weathered out the storm. I would not be in the boat thai I am in now. Perhaps deep down inside I feel that he shold be lonely too.but he bounces from woman to woman. At the risk of rambling on, I was not broght up this way and to love was to laugh. I do still love him but when I ask myself would I take him back I shudder at the thought....I am not ready to share my bed, my life and especially my child with anyone...will this ever end for me? Iam nearing 40 and I hate the thought of having to be alone...forever. Is this all natral for a woman?