Great Stress Reliever

Exercise! One of the best stress relievers around is simply doing some type of physical activity, the more strenuous the better. Try running, power walking, aerobics, bicycling, rollerblading, etc. Vigorous aerobic-type exercise helps you to think more clearly and reduces your stress levels, not to mention the benefits to your body and overall health.

Weekly Refresher

Set aside a time each week for yourself when you can be alone or do what you want to do. Do not feel guilty for abandoning your children. The break will do both of you good. You will have had the opportunity to renew yourself emotionally and they will have an opportunity to see that they can survive without you for a few hours and maybe even enjoy it. You will come back refreshed and better able to tackle the daily stress again.

Get Rid of Clutter

Do not clutter your life with papers. Handle each piece of paper only once, and throw away what can. Take your office skills and use them at home. Keep three file folders handy when sorting mail, notes from school, etc. Label one "URGENT," the second one "ASAP," and the third one, "TO BE FILED." Then deal with it in that order.

Count Your Blessings

As the old hymn goes, count your blessings, name them one by one. Keep a journal and write down positive moments and experiences each day. Focus on the good things in life, the bad things get too much attention.

Deal with Overload

Tip from Shellee Darnell in article entitled Single Parents Raise Good Kids Too! “The single parent frequently feels overwhelmed by the responsibility, tasks, and emotional overload associated with raising children alone. It is extremely important to manage time wisely and to ask for help when necessary. Assign children appropriate chores and tasks. Arrange car pools when possible, and ask other parents for help when needed. My children would not have been able to continue in club soccer were it not for the kindness of other parents providing rides to practices and games.”

The Effects of Stress

Your body cannot tell the difference between a positive or negative stressor. In either case, your body experiences the same stress effects. If you are not able to let off steam and relax, these effects can be harmful. You may feel tired, depressed, or anxious. You may experience physical symptoms such as a clenched jaw or backache. During periods of stress, take care of yourself by getting plenty of rest, eating healthy, exercising, and relaxing without alcohol or drugs. Your body will thank you for it.

Complexity and Too Much Stuff

Don´t Sweat the Small Stuff article by Richard Carlson,, Ph.D.: ¡§We live in a complex world. Most of us live complicated lives. We collect things and we collect achievements. Most of us believe that more is better, bigger is better, and faster is better. Somehow we believe that if we can get more stuff, achieve more often, do bigger and better things, make more money, have more experiences and so forth, that we´ll end up happier. The problem is, when life becomes too complicated and full, it also becomes overwhelming. We have too much going on, too much to keep track of. The result is that we become stressed, irritated and more easily bothered and anxious.¡§

Running Errands

Save up the many short errands and odd-end jobs for a once a month or bi-monthly marathon. Devote a half day to accomplishing as much as you can. Ask a friend to come along to help with the kids or find a babysitter and have a day out with your friend. Consider rewarding yourself with a movie or a quiet lunch with your friend after your errands are done.

What Are Your Priorities?

To help keep things in their proper perspective, it may help to make a list of things that are most important to you and that you consider to be priorities in your life. Some suggestions: spending quality time with someone you care about (like your children), physical exercise for you and your children's health, and quiet times to meditate/pray to assist you in keeping your priorities in order. Having the latest fashions or the cleanest home are not priorities.

Take Time to Hug

A quick stress reliever is simply to find a loved one and give them a good, long hug. This type of hugging releases lots of relaxing endorphins into your body. It will make both of you feel better.

One Minute Meditation

Relax and pay attention to your breathing. Breathe in slowly, breath out, and pause. Slowly repeat. Direct your awareness away from whatever is going on in the outside world. Tune into the out-breath, and visualize the tension and stress flowing out of you. It may take 10-15 minutes at first to get into a deep relaxed state, but with practice, it can be accomplished in a minute or two.

Making Stress Positive

Often when we are stressed with seemingly no way to alleviate it. Use your stress to be productive instead bottling it up or yelling. Give that floor or the walls a good scrubbing, weed that garden (pretend the weeds are things you are angry about and chop them into little pieces with a hoe or "weed wacker".)

Teach Your Children to Plan Ahead

Children can be taught at a young age how to plan and organize their life to be less hectic and stressful. For example, in the evenings before they go to bed, teach them to select and lay out their clothes for the next day and repack their backpack for school. They can also plan what they will have for breakfast the next morning and can even set the table by getting out a bowl and spoon and the cereal if that is what they plan to have. Things will go much smoother the next morning and everyone can start the day peacefully instead in a frantic rush because they have nothing clean to wear, they can´t find their homework, etc. Learning this lesson at a young age will help them plan and stay organized the rest of their life. Plus, it also teaches them how to behave responsibly, another valuable lesson.

Phone Therapy

The next time you get too stressed out, try phoning a good friend and talk about the craziness of your day. Look for the humorous side of things and you will both end up laughing. Sharing your troubles with an optimistic friend and having a good laugh can do wonders to release the tension built up inside of you. Plus you will probably brighten their day also, so keep in touch.

Dump the Stress Daily

Resolve to start each day with a clean slate. Before your day ends, find a way to release any built-up stress that has accumulated during the day. Take a brisk walk, shoot some hoops with your child, go for a daily run, or spend time in prayer/meditation. Physical exertion helps your body cope by rushing fresh oxygen into your body and releasing harmful stressors that have accumulated. Stress can accumulate in your body and cause serious illness and weaken your resistance to infections. So, dump the stress daily.

Use Stress to Your Advantage

Stress is like body temperature: if it is too low or too high, you have a hard time surviving, but the right balance can keep you going strong. It makes sense to use stress energy positively, to meet the challenges of life, experiences, and goals. Stress is not all bad. In fact, positive stress can make life both rich and satisfying. Find ways to make it positive.

Take Care of Yourself

Tip from Shellee Darnell in article entitled Single Parents Raise Good Kids Too! “It is critical for your children's well being for you to take care of yourself. There are times when you feel like you need a break. Ask other single parents to trade babysitting or hire a mother's helper. Pay special attention to diet, exercise, stress management, and getting a good night's sleep. . . . Take a walk, read a book call a friend, take a nap. . . . A stressed out parent results in stressed out kids.”

Simplify Your Life

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff article by Richard Carlson. Ph.D.: Make a “conscious, voluntary decision to simplify your life….Begin in small ways. Learn to say ‘no' more often, reduce, where appropriate, a few of your obligations, and stop taking on more—unless and until you counter your new obligation by eliminating a different one. Get rid of stuff you don't need. Consolidate, reduce your consumption, and think in terms of quality of experience, not quantity. Finally, learn to value space in your calendar. If you do manage to create some free time, try not to fill it up with something else.”

Relax with Music

Retreat to a quiet place in the house, such as your bedroom, close the door, turn off the phone, and find a comfortable place to lie down. Teach your children that your closed door means you want some quiet time alone and you are not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency. Listen to some gentle music while you relax or focus on something that makes you feel lethargic and rested, such as lying on a sun drenched beach.